Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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