Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
