dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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