His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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