so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
