I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
