he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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