I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
