do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
