Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
