I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
