She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
4 words: hood of his car
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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