Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
