shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
