Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
