Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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