so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
