what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
