I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
