the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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