I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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