Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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