You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
