what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
