We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
