I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
