how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I will pee on everything he values.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
