Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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