Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Houston, we have a blender
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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