I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
