this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
