he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
