I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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