He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
