Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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