Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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