Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
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You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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