I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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