Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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