yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
