One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?