Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"