i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"