Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
