He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
