So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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