I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
