Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
