She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
