That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
