There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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