You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
