I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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