She's JV to your varsity
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
