I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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