she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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