apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
