Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize