i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
